The Ginyu Force: Attourneys at Law
by Deus1
Summary: The Ginyu Force have taken up the practice of law, and you just won't BELIEVE who gives them their first case!
1. William's Call

The Ginyu Force, Attourneys at Law, present...  
Case 001: Post Nasal Drip  
Section 01: "William's Call"  
  
  
It was just after lunch break in the law offices of Ginyu, Burter, Jeice, Recoome, and Guldo when the phone at ginyu's desk rang. These type of events were few and far between for the Ginyu Force, so Ginyu himself picked it up midway through the first ring.   
  
"You've reached the law offices of Ginyu, Burter, Jeice, Recoome, and Guldo, this is Captain Ginyu speaking, how may we be of service to you today?"  
  
The caller was a male, but had a nasal voice that annoyed Ginyu to Hell and back. "Yeth, thir, my name ith William, and-"  
  
"What's your last name?", Ginyu interrupted.  
  
"I'd rather like for that to remain confedential, thir, if you don't mind."  
  
"O-of course not. Continue, William."  
  
"Well, thir, I am obviouthly afflicted with potht nathal drip, but-"  
  
"Obviously."  
  
"...Yeth. Buuut...I've never had it prior to my...ethcapades ath a..."  
  
"As a what, William?"  
  
"Ath a... Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger."  
  
"Sweet merciful crap." Ginyu was stunned. Could he actually be talking to one of the Power Rangers?  
  
William continued. "You thee, thir, it ith my belief that my affliction wath cauthed by the lining in the helmetth that we Power Rangerth wore. I am extremeley allergic to cotton, and-"  
  
"Allergic to cotton?!" Ginyu interrupted, again.  
  
"Yeth. But I never found out until the nathal drip developed that there wath cotton in the helmetth!"  
  
"Hmmm... I see. Well, William, I do believe that we have a case! Let's arrange a meeting to organize our case. How does lobster at Larry's on fourth street tommorow at noon sharp sound?"  
  
"Oh, no, thir; I'm allergic to theafood."  
  
Ginyu sighed. "Well, then, how about you decide the place?"  
  
"I know a great juith bar!" 


	2. The Juice Bar

The Ginyu Force, Attourneys at Law, present...  
Case 001: Post Nasal Drip  
Section 02: "The Juice Bar"  
  
Ginyu hung up the phone and shouted out of nowhere, "Well, boys, we have our first case!!" This took the other members off-guard, and caused a bit of pandemonium; Burter spilled his coffee all over his only suit, Jeice lost his arm wrestling competition to Recoome, and Guldo..wet his pants.  
  
"Oh, thanks a lot, Ginyu! Look at this mess!" Guldo took out his handkercheif and dabbed at the wet area of his pants.  
  
"Like you weren't going to do that anyway.", Ginyu retorted. He cleared his throat. "Anyway, we've got a potential work-related physical trauma case. I'll be meeting the client tommorow at Arnie's Juice Bar in Angel Grove."  
  
Jeice spat on the floor. "Where in bloody 'ell is Angel Grove?!"  
  
"It's just a twenty minute drive. You guys are coming with me, but you'll have to get your own table."  
  
"Why?! Don't you trust us, Ginyu?!", Burter snarled. The Captain laughed.  
  
"Come on, fellas! He might be scared of a bunch of monsters like you!"  
  
_____________________   
  
The next day, the Ginyu Force hopped in their all-purpose mini-van and made the short trip to Angel Grove. They arrived at Arnie's Juice Bar and got out of the car. Ginyu prepped his team.  
  
"Who are we?!" Ginyu asked/ shouted. The answer was a resounding "The Ginyu Force!!!" from all members.  
  
"Good. I'm going in. You guys will come in... say, five minutes from now. I'm off!" Ginyu walked into the bar armed with his briefcase.  
  
"Hmmm... now, where's our William...?" Ginyu noticed a lanky lad with glasses and a constant stream of mucous running from his nose. "Ah."  
  
Ginyu walked over to William, who stood up and shook his hand. They both sat down, and Ginyu opened his briefcase. William spoke first.  
  
"I ordered us thome thelery thaketh, ith that okay?"  
  
"Uh, sure. Now, let's go over your defense."  
  
"Okay. I've developed a perthonally harmful and expenthive ditheathe from the lining in the Power Ranger helmetth, which ith cotton. I, being extremeley allergic to any and all formth of cotton, wath not aware of thith until I wath completley afflicted with my potht-nathal drip."  
  
"Good, good, that's good! Now, do you have any evidence?" Evidence was key in a case like this. Key!  
  
"You betcha, thir!" William pulled a brown paper bag from underneath the table and began pulling items out of it. "Let'th thee... I've got the helmet, the helmet retheipt, my medical recordth, a dated videotape of my induction into the Power Rangerth, and a jar of my own mucouth."  
  
"He he... we'll just leave that here. But the other stuff... great work. We've got this case in the bag! Now, all we have to do is take this to a court, and we win!"  
  
The rest of the Ginyu Force, who had been sitting at the bar disguised in panchos, all jumped up and shouted in joy, losing their sombreros in the process. 


	3. Voice of an Angel

The Ginyu Force, Attourneys at Law, present...  
Case 001: Post Nasal Drip  
Section 03: "Voice of an Angel"  
  
After making arrangements with William, the Ginyu Force returned to their law firm to make a few phone calls.  
  
"Jeice, I'm going to need you to call this number." ,Ginyu said as he handed Jeice a slip of paper with a phone number and some names that William had given to Ginyu earlier that day. "Ask for Zordon."  
  
"Zordon? What in bloody 'ell kind of name is Zordon?"  
  
"Just do it." , Ginyu said. Jeice sighed and began dialing. "Guldo, call this number and ask for Zach Morris. Tell him he's a witness in a case involving his friend William." Ginyu handed his slight and green team-mate a slip of paper. Guldo snatched it spitefully.  
  
"I know what's going on, Ginyu! I was at the juice bar!" , Guldo spat. Ginyu rolled his eyes and gave Recoome and Burter each a slip of paper with a number on it. "You know what to do, right?" ,the leader asked. Burter and Recoome nodded, and dialed. Everybody was making calls. On Jeice's line...  
  
"Hello, Power Rangers HQ, who may I ask is calling?" ,a whiny and nasally voice answered.  
  
"Crikey!" ,Jeice reeled at the high annoyance-factor of the voice at the other end of the line. He regained his composure. "Roight. Lemme talk t' Zor-don."  
  
"Who may I ask is calling, please?"  
  
"It's Jeice from the bleedin' law offices of Jeice, Guldo, Burter, Ginyu, and Recoome! You'll be in serious trouble if ye' don't lemme talk t' Zor-don!!"   
  
"Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay! Hold on, please! Zordon can't use his hands, so I'm putting you on speaker-phone." There was a click, then a booming, powerful voice.  
  
"What business do you have with the almighty ZORDON?!"   
  
"Errr.... I just called to let you know that you're being sued by former Blue Ranger, William, due to work-related physical trauma, and-"  
  
"That ass! He wasn't supposed to tell anybody about the Power Rangers! How did you get this number?!"  
  
"Anyway, you're scheduled to appear in Angel Grove Municipal Court on Tuesday the twenty-third at eleven A.M." ,Jeice persisted. He had a job to do, and it was geting done.  
  
"Damn you, Billy!" , Zordon conted to ten. "Fine, I'll be there with my representative, Alpha-5." The diminuitive android screamed in the background, "Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay!!"  
  
"See you in court, mate!" Jeice hung up and proceeded to work on his Puz-3D version of the Eiffel Tower.  
  
__________________   
  
Guldo had to call a young man by the name of Zach Morris, but he wasn't at his house. However, the message said that he could be reached at the Angel Grove School of Dancing, so Guldo called and got a hold of Zach.  
  
"Yo, man, whatchu want?" , Zach answered.  
  
"Zach Morris, this is Guldo of the law firm Guldo, Burter, Recoome, Jeice, and Ginyu, and-"  
  
Zach cut him off. "Yo, man, I didn't do nothin'!"  
  
Guldo cleared his throat. "No sir, but you're scheduled to appear in Angel Grove Municipal Court on-"  
  
"No way, man, ain't no cops gonna get a hold o' me!" Zach hung up. Guldo sighed. Perhaps he would try later, but for now... baloney sandwiches!  
  
__________________   
Recoome had some trouble dialing the phone number of Kimberley Thomas with his massive elephant fingers, but he got through successfully when a drunk sounding man picked up.  
  
"H'lo?"  
  
"Yes, sir, this is Recoome of the law offices of Recoome, Guldo, Burter, Jeice, and Ginyu. May I speak to Kimberley Thomas?"  
  
"Why? You sexin' her?!"   
  
"No, I-"  
  
The drunk man yelled to someone in his vicinity. "Kimmy! You sexin' some retard?!" Someone else yelled back, but it was indistinguishable. "Okay, pumpkin-pie!" The drunk man returned his attention to Recoome. "Sorry 'bout that, buddy. Here's Kimmy." Now a female was on the other line. "Whut?"  
  
Recoome blinked. "Er, this is Recoome of the law offices of Recoome, Guldo, Burter, Jeice, and Ginyu. Miss, you are scheduled to appear in Angel Grove Municipal court on Tuesday the twenty-third at eleven A.M. as a witness to a case."  
  
"I can't make it! That's when I'm s'posed t' have muh fifteenth kid!"  
  
Recoome blinked again. Why did he always get the weirdos? "Very well, miss, thank you for your-" Kimberley hung up. "...Time."  
  
__________________   
  
Burter had successfully gotten through to Trini Udungflung and introduced himself without incident. When he mentioned her court appearance, however, Trini had something to say...  
  
"Ooh, me no rikee! Me no want be there!"  
  
"Please, miss, it's very important that you be there..."  
  
"Twini no go unress there be fwee kung-pow chicken!"  
  
"...THAT'S THE STU- errrr...yes, plenty of kung-pow chicken for you, Miss Udungflung."  
  
"Ooh, me rikee very very much!"  
  
"Um, can I just ask you one thing...where are you from?"  
  
"Ooh, me famiwee migwate here fwom Canada!"  
  
"Uhhh...can I just say that you have a very unusual accent for a Canadian?"  
  
Trini began to talk with no accent. "Actually, I just talk like that to scare people off. I guess you're very brave!"  
  
Burter had had enough. "Right, see you Tuesday." He hung up quickly and shook his head for a long time.  
  
__________________   
  
Just one more call was to be made: Jason Jones, and this was Ginyu's. Ginyu called Jason and explained the situation without Jason saying a word.  
  
"Uhh...is this court appearance okay for you, Mr. Jones?"  
  
Jason talked, but it was through a Steven Hawking-like voice device. "Oh-kay, but I have an iron-lung, so you will need to make some room for me, ha ha ha *fart*. Oops, who cut the cheese?"  
  
Ginyu shook his head. "Okay, fine, then. Bye."  
  
"Bye-bye *fart*."  
  
And Captain Ginyu hung up. 


	4. Out of Court Settlement

The Ginyu Force, Attourneys at Law, present...  
Case 001: Post Nasal Drip  
Section 04: "Out of Court Settlement"  
  
Captain Ginyu looked at his team mates and beamed. "Well, fellas, looks like this case is in the bag!"  
  
"Roight!!", Jeice screeched. As the reddest Ginyu Forcer closed his mouth, Ginyu's phone began to ring. Ginyu shrugged and picked it up.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hello? Alpha, is this piece of crap phone working?!"  
  
"Uhhh...I can hear you fine. Who may I ask is calling?"  
  
"Oh. Good. This is Zordon the Almighty!"  
  
"Zordon?! What do you want?!"  
  
"You are Billy's lawyer, correct?"  
  
"Billy...? Oh, yes. Yes I am."  
  
"I called to reach an out of court settlement..."  
  
"Out of court settlement?! No way!! The Ginyu Force never backs away from a good trial!!" The Ginyu Force all shouted "Yeah!" really loud. Zarbon groaned.  
  
"Look, ass, I think that if I want to settle this out of court, you're obligated to go along with me."  
  
"I..." Ginyu looked at his fellow attourneys in the off chance that they would know anything about the legal system. They all shrugged, and Ginyu sighed. "Fine. How much do you want to settle for?"  
  
"The death of Billy!!", Zordon screamed really loud and dramatically. Ginyu pulled the reciever back from his ear, and yelled into it himself:  
  
"I'll see you in court, you deep-throated piece of ass-rot!!" Ginyu slammed the phone down, breaking it. "That mother sucka thinks that he can outsmart the Ginyu Force!! Is he right?!"  
  
All members of the Force again shouted "Yeah!" really loud in agreement. Ginyu looked at them.  
  
"What? "Yeah"? Did you even hear what I said?!"  
  
"Oh. It's just that...the only word that we can shout in unison is "Yeah!".", Burter explained. Ginyu nodded.  
  
"Okay. Well, then, men! You practice yelling other various phrases in unison while I go get us some Subway!"  
  
"Bitchin'!", Guldo said excitedly. "I love Subway! And that Jared guy! He's so dreamy..." This off-color comment earned Guldo a befuddled look from each of his team mates.  
  
"Umm, I mean...I really admire his-", Guldo tried to cover, but Recoome put up his hand, indicating Guldo to stop.  
  
"It's okay. Nobody's judging you here."  
  
"Oh. Good, then..."  
  
Then the Ginyu Force sat in akward silence for a couple of hours. 


End file.
